A Harsh Beginning
by Bree1996
Summary: Esmerelda is a convicted Blood Mage. Knight Captain Marric is always hovering around. Will he break her will? Can she get out of this tower? Rated M for later chapters POV Story. Romance. (Esmerelda-Marric-Cullen) works through the worlds of Dragon Age Origins during the blight


"No don't touch me. Hands off!" I whimpered, being handled yet again by those bastard templars. They were always shouting and pushing me around. Treating me like I was nothing. That's what they do to all the mages around here and I'm still surprised that no one has stood up to them.

"Keep moving Maleficar! You will not be conspiring with anyone else around here, we are putting you in special confinement" One of them shouted as he squeezed my arm tighter, pulling me to a nearby room before throwing me in. The door slammed behind me, it was so cold inside, the floor was damp and it sent shivers over my body. Where am I? I thought.

This treatment all started just after that stupid Harrowing... but the demon helped me... didn't it? She let me see what injustice mages go through every day. And I'm glad she did. I have been accused time and time again of being a blood mage... But if they really thought I was a threat they would have made me tranquil by now.

"Tranquil" I shivered. I would rather die than be made tranquil but I wouldn't have a chance against the templars. I heard a creak of the floorboards at the base of the door, standing up I was prepared for whatever was going to walk in, I clenched my fists and stared. It flew open the slight light of the room made a slight glimmer over the shiny armour of not 1 but 2 templars. I stood back against the wall, scared and alone my breath began to become shorter.

"There she is, Master wants to see you" One of them approached me with his hand out until it grasped tightly around my arm. What did they want…? I'm sure there are plenty of others who they should be more interested in, like Davis… I know he has been conspiring with blood magic for years. He would be a much bigger threat than me currently.

"Ah you are here" I heard a voice say as I was shoved into a darkened room. The voice seemed deep yet cold… I couldn't see him directly but I could make out a slight distinguished figure of a tall man. Defiantly a Templar I can see the armour shine in the slight light from the window.

"What do you want?" I looked up to him and tried to regain my balance from being thrown to the floor. He walked over to me lighting some candles which made more of a pattern out on his face. He was handsome… slight distinguishing features on his face. From the sandy coloured hair to the light stubble over his chin.

"I am Commander Marric Theirin, and what I want from you is your secrets" He looked at me and smiled while gesturing to a small table beside the bed. Two chairs were sticking from it and there was a light amount of dust overshadowing the table. There was an unusual presence in the air strange… very very strange… it was almost demonic of sorts. I better just answer his questions so then in hope he will let me go.

"What secrets do you think a simple circle mage has?" I looked over to him as I sat down. He stood up from his chair and came over to me resting a hand over my shoulder. I felt it slightly grip and begin to undo the lace that connected my sleeves to my circle robes.

"Stop it" I pushed his hand away, only to have it return and slice across my face.

"Silence blood wench" He forced himself upon me and caused the chair to fall back. I gasped as his hand covered my mouth not allowing me to scream for help. I didn't know what was happening, my robe was being ripped and pulled off me. While somehow my magic was down it must be some kind of Templar shield at work to protect them from our spells. I just closed my eyes and waited for it to be over… if it was ever going to be. I did not know what would become of me after this. All these little meetings just might get me killed, even if I tell them about Blood Magic they will kill me anyway. This went on every day for 3 weeks… I did not know what the others in the tower were thinking but it sure wasn't good. They all glare at me like I have sided with the templars or I now have this Templar taint running through my veins. Marric really had his heart set on cracking me but there was no way I was going to give him the secrets to Blood Magic. If a Templar can know the details… he could create power so evil and treacherous it would wipe out Mage kind. I have to keep pretending like I know nothing then he would let me go when he believes I'm not a blood mage.

"There you are I have been worried about you, where have you been?" I heard a voice say as I walked out of the Templar quarters for the last time, well so I thought.

"What are you doing around here? You know what happens if they see two mages talking, especially when they think one of them is a blood mage" I screeched at Dante who was trying to keep quiet.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to see if you were alright, I haven't seen you in days" We walked around the corner, slightly out of Templars views.

"I have been under investigation, I thought everyone in the tower knew that" I looked around at some apprentices who just glared at me.

"Why you're not a blood mage, why would they think that?" He looked at me confused.

"Yes well apparently my Harrowing went too smoothly... they are worried I made contact with a demon in order to pass my test quicker" I sighed and sat down upon the cold stone ground.

"I am still waiting for my Harrowing, I'm hoping it will be soon, at least you get to move up to the nice mages quarters… while I'm stuck down here just as a lonely apprentice" He sat next to me and nudged my arm causing me to fall to the side slightly.

"Dante you know they will summon you when they think you are ready" I smiled to him and nudged him softly back.

"You're my best friend Essy" He blushed a little and kissed my cheek lightly.

"As you are mine" I hugged him tightly around the shoulders as we stood up. His hands gently caressed down my back to set on my waist.

"Break it up Mages, no time for consorting with each other you both have things you should be doing" We turned around to see Templar Cullen standing in front of us arms crossed.

"Of course Sir" Dante left the comfort of my side and walked down to his chambers in the lower parts of the tower.

"You worry him you know Esmeralda" Cullen stepped closer to me and smiled.

"I worry a lot of people apparently" I looked up at his beautiful blue eyes and smiled back.

"Including me, how are you coping? Is Marric being rough with you?" He stroked down my arm with his thick armoured gloves but it still felt slightly comforting.

"He is getting there" I lifted up my long brown hair to reveal a bruise over the base of my neck leading off onto my shoulders. All purple with slight marks of finger prints and cuts from being thrown around.

"You don't deserve this" He pulled me into one of the rooms. I looked around it as I began to cry, it just was getting too much to shut the door and placed the wood lock over it to avoid anyone just walking in.

"There is no reason why you can't just leave" He walked up to me and parted my hair to the side, curling it down as it reached my waist.

"Maybe the one reason is that there is no way out of this tower… plus even if there was they have my phylactery… I wouldn't get 10 metres out of here. Adding the fact that this entire place is under Templar supervision, and oh the little matter of WE ARE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF A LAKE! I wouldn't get 10 metres sorry I would drown" I sighed from stress and buried my face in my hands. Only to have them lifted off by Cullen's bare hands. He smiled at me and brushed the side of my face.

"It's just hard Cullen" I felt a tear escape my eye but his thumb was quick to pick it up and wipe it off.

"I know it is… You're just as beautiful when you cry… I didn't even think that was possible" He looked at me, his blue eyes glistening from the sunlight appearing from a nearby window. I stared into those eyes and just for a minute… I could feel at peace… like all of my problems just left.

"Cullen I…."

"Shhhh"He leaned into my face and softly but surely his lips met mine. It was beautiful and soft, the perfect kiss…. It really was. I felt his body weight shift as it came closer to me, his hand that was stroking my face swept down over my shoulders, down my sides and resided on the curves of my waist. He lifted me up still having his lips on mine; he walked over to the bed that was nestled by the window. He laid me down ever so gently and proceeded to remove the heavy armour that was hiding his shape and body. I must admit Templars are fit, I guess they have to be to run after us but Cullen was something else. He removed the top half of the Templar Robes, his body was much defined from the sunlight, and it touched every muscle formation in his arms and down his stomach. He was so handsome... I was in love... Cullen has been looking after me ever since we met... he made sure the Templar's didn't kill me straight away at the Wounded Coast. He led them to bring me here... I don't know where I would be now without him in my life. The next few minutes seem to go by quicker than imagined... where did the time go? It was loving and intimate. I'm so glad he is here with me... I still can't believe he is with me... just a simple circle mage. He held me close afterwards and kissed my head.

"You mean a lot to me... you do know that don't you?" He smiled sliding his hand down my neck down the back of my shoulders.

"And you mean a lot to me... but of course you know that too" I smiled and looked into his eyes. He kissed my lips ever so softly and leaned back just to smile at me.

"We should get a move on, I don't want the templar's running around trying to find you" I smiled to him and kissed him once more. Before we stood up and began to redress ourselves for our exit out of the room.

"Goodbye my love... I'll see you later right?" He smiled and pulled me close, inhaling the scent of my hair. Sliding his hands down to my waist I felt his breath pass the back of my neck.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world darling" He smiled and gave me one last kiss on the head. His hands left mine with a gentle depart as he exited the room. I missed him already. But I better get going; I must pack up my stuff and get it all to my new quarters. I'm so glad Desire found me; I wouldn't know how to cope without her. She makes everything easier for me, like I have at least one friend that is by my side no matter what happens. She is someone who is with me through anything and who understands me better than anyone. Even though she is a voice in my head… she is something I care about more than anything… she is my best friend and I trust her with my life. She could have made me into a monster but she didn't. She helped me… let me see that what the Templars do is wrong... and that the circle really doesn't work.

I walked down the hall and around the bend of the tower into my current shared quarters.

"Is she alright? I heard she had the quickest and cleanest Harrowing they have ever seen" I heard apprentices mumble as they whispered to each other. They stopped as I entered the chamber, I looked to them they just stared and whispered a little more. I couldn't make it out this time but I definitely heard Blood Magic. I can't believe it has spread around this fast… everyone is against me… I couldn't feel more alone in this world. But I still have desire... and well Cullen… I never thought I would ever fall for a Templar and their ways… but Cullen has always been different.

"We have packed your things and sent them up to the Mages Quarters" I heard a voice behind me say as the door closed. I turned around and smiled with a gentle bow.

"Good afternoon First Enchanter" I smiled to him. He was like a dad to me… he helped me deal with the Templars when I first completed my Harrowing. And he was the one that allowed me to do it earlier than advised. He has always had faith in me… and for that… I appreciate him most of all.

"Good afternoon Child" He smiled to me and walked closer.

"What brings you here Sir?" I smiled to him waiting for the reply.

"I just wanted to make sure you are alright. Knight Commander Marric has been asking of you, it concerns me why he is so interested in you" He patted my shoulder as a sign of comfort.

"I'm not sure First Enchanter… but I'm sure it won't last very long" I wish I could believe my own lies… then maybe life could be easier. I wish it won't last much longer but I suppose that is just too much to hope for. Eventually everyone will find out… and I will be sentenced to death. Not very much to look forward to in the future… but it's the one I chose for myself.

"I'll speak with you later Child, these Templars have got me on so many duties. I am getting too old for this" He chuckled and walked out of the chambers. This all got me thinking as I waved goodbye and sat on the edge of my old bed. The bed they brought me too when I couldn't handle my magic anymore. I remember that night as if it was yesterday… the Templars found me on the Wounded Coast near Kirkwall. I was happy with that life, after my parents died I had no one … no one to look after me and help me control my magic. I remember I could control the tide… water was my element and I could wield it well. But something went wrong at a point… I created such a large wave it almost completely flooded Kirkwall. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt… but the chantry sent its Templars out to find the source… and they found me. I was beaten and brought into the circle that same day. I was going to be sentenced for the destruction of some farmland and buildings. But First Enchanter took pity on me and let me into the circle to learn how to control my powers. I am glad to be here but I can't help but think there is something better out there. I was very young when I came here that night but I want something more than this. The Templars are eventually going to drive me into confessing or just till I end up dead. They wouldn't care... what is one more dead mage to them is. It's just another one they don't have to worry about anymore.

I am a Maleficar and there is nothing to change that. I have chosen this life for myself and I can face whatever has to come in the future. If it brings death then so be it, I will always know then I never gave into the Templars rules and submissions. If not then I'll be able to change the way people think about blood mages and let them see the injustice that happens to them every single day. Sometimes demons only seek a way to pass the veil from the Fade into the human world and they will promise anything to get them there. Once they have developed a host they can stir something inside them that will turn the most pure soul into a dark abyss of hatred. This is where someone becomes an abomination… no emotion left just hunger… hunger for death and they will never have enough. This is what the Templars make sure does not happen. That is why they are concerned with me… even though Desire and I are friends… she would never make me an abomination. She wants to help me not consume my soul and I. She knows what the Templars want… and our powers combined we could take out every single one of them in this tower. But we do not want harm to come to others as a result of this. But Desire was different from these creatures… she didn't seek personal gain; she wanted to help and from that she gave me the most incredible gift. I am capable of anything now and together we have a chance that no one else in this tower does. A chance at Freedom.

The thought takes me back to the first time I met Desire, I had always read about Desire demons but never did I think I would be able to see one. She talked to me and thanked me for not attacking her like the other mages did. She spoke to me with such care and seeked friendship; we made a deal. I let her use me as a host so she could escape the fade, in exchange for power and trust. I had never read about demons like Desire… she is kind and caring… not looking souly for a body to possess and make an abomination. True they are the most skilled in turning mages towards possession and are far more intelligent than the average demon. Desire demons use the yearnings of the victims; lust, wealth, power; to their advantage. Their powerful abilities to affect the mind allow them to assume disguises and even alter the environment to their purposes. As a result, many who become their prey never realize it. While desire demons may resort to complete mind control, they take greater pleasure in more subtle deceit. If overpowered, a desire demon will most likely attempt to bargain its way into freedom.

I walked out of the chambers and passed many paintings around the curved hallway. The signs in these paintings were extraordinary. Death to mages… these were paintings of the great battles between mages and Templars before the circle was in order. The blood mages that failed to usurp heaven… they wanted to take it by force. They were too confident with how much power they wielded at their very fingertips. They destroyed it… they got casted out, twisted and cursed by their own corruption. The chantry states that the magisters in Tevinter Imperium opened a portal into the Golden City, tainting the realm of the maker with their corruption and returning as the first darkspawn, their evil transfiguring them into the monsters they became. The Golden City is now known as the Black City, which is a city in the fade, it was said to be the former seat of the Maker.

I shivered… Darkspawn… this was something I have never seen in person. They are feared throughout Ferelden… and yet we created them. We are the ones that caused this Blight and now we cannot end it. I passed a small collection of books and picked one up. The front read Darkspawn Chronicles, I smiled at the thought of nights I spent under my sheets reading the old tales my Father gave me. I opened the first page and began to glance over the words; when the first darkspawn were underground, they grew larger in number and dug deep and deeper into the earth until they found the resting place of the Old God Dumat; where he was imprisoned. I walked over to a nearby bench and I began to read more. Dumat was the Dragon of Silence; he was the first and most powerful among the Old Gods. He was imprisoned by the Maker for usurping his worshipers. He was the first Old God to be absorbed by the taint and turn into the Archdemon, which brought out the first blight. But according to some old tales my father used to tell me, the founder of the Tevinter Imperium, Dumat was responsible for teaching Blood Magic. He also said that in the early human kingdom of Barindur was completely vanished in 1610 after losing favour with Dumat. Only a pathway and bare rock remain from once a was a great kingdom. But Dumat didn't rule for very long as he was killed by a group of Ander soldiers while he was on the run from a Grey Warden but it's said that celebrations were cut short when Dumat returned unharmed. In the several years that followed, we learned that the Archdemon's death had only forced its soul to relocate into the body of the nearest darkspawn. Dumat was finally slain by the Grey Wardens in the Battle of Silent Fields thousands of years ago. Tis a most curious thing… Nobody knows what it is that drives the darkspawn in their relentless search for these sleepingold gods perhaps it is instinct… like moths will fly into an open flame. Or perhaps there is some remnant of desire for vengeance upon those who degraded magisters to assault heaven. But whatever the reason, when the darkspawn find one of these gods… it is immediately affected by their taint. It awakens twisted and corrupted, an Archdemon and it leads the darkspawn into an invasion of the land; The Blight

I have read tales of people who have claimed to see this demon… they describe it as a huge dragon blood driven and just as cursed as the creatures that follow it. But it is rarely seen as it does not come to the surface very often… you would be lucky to see even a small group of darkspawn. Most of them hide in the Deep Roads… waiting for their chance to come to the surface and destroy mankind. All these tales are very dark but I was always curious as to why the Archdemon is necessary and still in motion. Archdemons possess intelligence far beyond the average dragon and are purely evil creatures. Most of the time, the darkspawn will be organized as a simple hive-mind, concerned only with expanding the horde. Even though the Archdemon is not always with them, it communicates with and commands the entire horde. They say that Grey Wardens often "hear" the Archdemon in their dreams; older Wardens even claim they can understand the Archdemons speech. The Archdemon is their leader and the blight will not end until this Archdemon is destroyed forever.

That is why Grey Wardens are made they fight the darkspawn better than any soldier could. They are an order of great warriors dedicated to fighting darkspawn throughout Thedas. They are headquartered in the very place of their founding, the Weisshaupt Fortress in the Anderfels, but they maintain a presence in most other places as well. This fortress is said to be located on the edge of a jagged plain called Broken Tooth in the southern Anderfels. This fortress was built during the First Blight and has remained there untouched. It has a mausoleum inside built to honour the slayers of the previous Archdemons and houses the Grey Warden Treasury. I would give anything to see such a place… but that is way beyond our borders here at the tower. There hasn't been anyone in history able to just stumble across the have encountered four blights and the Grey Wardens have held a strong have died down now there is only little in number … but I do fear that the darkspawn threat is worse than we think… Desire tells me she can hear voices trapped in the Fade and they warn her of great peril. We are scared but the Templars never go out of their way to help others even if it would be their duty. This Blight is greater than it seems.

These were the tales I was lulled to sleep by from my father and mother. They wanted me to know what was happening around me. Not tell me foolish childish stories; these would benefit me in the future. I now have most knowledge on the matter than most people around here do. I grew up wanting to be fighting by the mighty Grey Wardens side; but they were only dreams. I don't have dreams anymore… only nightmares. All living beings enter The Fade when they dream apart from Dwarves who do not dream; the fade is a quiet place... however very dangerous. Demons inhabit The Fade… some kind and caring others full of so much hate. They are very cunning and it's tough to decide whether or not to trust are oft-malicious spirits that embody sin and feed on the darker parts of mortals like rage, hunger and desire. The more complex a person's emotions are, the more intelligent and powerful the demon who will feed on it. I learned from Desire that all demons are categorized into a hierarchy by human observers. Rage is the simplest emotion to feed from so rage demons are the lowest on the power scale. Sloth demons are above rage demons, and are known as masters of disguise. Demons like Desire are of higher skill, and they have the power to manipulate people without them even knowing. That is what she taught me to do; we have merged our powers as one. She tells me of great demons the most powerful of them all… Pride Demons. They are fearsome creatures, known purely for their great intelligence. However, demons never abide by this hierarchy. A rage demon can focus on retribution, which would make it a more powerful and complex motivation than simple anger, while a Desire demon focused on lust will be less do not have specific genders. Within the fade, they are able to shape shift and take the form of their choosing. Demons often cannot distinguish between a living being and a dead one and will readily take control of either. This is said to be the cause for the Chantry's custom of burning the dead.

I sighed and looked around at my new quarters; this was my room now. At least being alone in this room, I will be able to study more with Desire; completely and with no interruptions. Desire submerged out of my body and slowly sided down next to me.

"Esmerelda... I have seen something in your future that concerns me" She looked to me with her giant violet eyes.

"What is it?" I looked back equally concerned in her vision.

"This Templar is going to bring you great danger" She sighed slightly and put her head down.

"What do you mean?" I placed my hand on her shoulder and looked to her. She placed her hand onto my stomach and she gasped. She just stared and nodded at me like something was coming. I am not sure what but I am frightened. If Desire is worried about me… I should be terrified. I looked down at my stomach and then looked back to her.

"What is it Desire?" I was so scared that something was going to be really wrong here.

"In your future I see a child… someone who shall grow up to learn your ways and become a most powerful blood mage" She looked down seemly disappointed.

"What is wrong with a child?" I looked back to her.

"Having this child will also bring you my dear… great danger… I-I see death and heartache" She sighed and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"9 months from now you will have this child… Your life is in danger you must try and terminate it" She looked at me with more worry on her face than I have ever seen before.

"I cannot terminate this child" I rubbed my stomach and smiled a little at the thought. I actually have a baby… someone who needs me and will look up to me as a mage. I smiled to myself and then looked back at Desire. She disappeared back to my head and I could hear her lightly crying. I did not know what to feel… she is worried about me having this baby… but I can't just get rid of it. This is my child and I do love it no matter what danger it brings… it's still my little baby. But I am scared of it truly… does this child belong to my handsome love Cullen… or my greatest torment… Marric. I shivered at the thought of my first child belonging to that bastard. But if it is…. Would I love it any less? No….. Would it be any less my child? Of course not…. I will love it unconditionally.

I'm not sure how to go about this though… the Templars wouldn't appreciate a new mage being brought into the world. Especially when we aren't allowed to be consorting with anyone... especially Templars. I could even just be simply killed along with the child to make things easier for the Templars… when they find out. They will eventually find out… I'm just hoping that First Enchanter can do something about it and help me.

Months and Months pasted… every week my stomach grew a couple of cm. This is going to start to stand out something awful… I'm beginning to get looks… glares… laughs. Nobody trusted me now… half of them think it's going to be some weird demon child. I can hear their whispers.

"Master needs to see you again Wench" Marric's guards walked up to me and grabbed me again. Throwing me into Marric's room for the thousandth time… what does he want now?

"Hello my dear… it seems you have been holding out on us… does someone have something they would like to tell us?" He ran a finger hard over my now bulging stomach and smiled.

"I don't know what you mean" I pretended like I knew nothing.

"You cannot simply say you have just put on weight from eating my dear… Elvish blood is running through your veins and as I recall your kinds do not put on weight no matter how much you eat" He looked at me and sat down right in my face. I looked down not wanting to say anything more and sighed softly. He rubbed over my stomach and smiled.

"This child shall be a new elite race" He smiled at me and patted my head before standing up.

"An elite race? What game are you playing at Marric?" I stood and faced him.

"Half Blood Mage and Half Noble Blood. A strong warrior that can make contact with demons… He shall be king after my rein has ended and he will take over Ferelden and lead this world to Victory" He turned around and placed both hands on his shoulders then forcefully kissed my lips. I groaned and wiped my lips.

"You are insane" I stepped back from him and stared.

"Insane or a genius" I saw him pick up a small knife and come towards me.

"Stay back" I screeched before his hand grabbed my wrist and forced it down to open it. The knife lightly scraped across my palm and was beginning to quickly heal. Thank goodness for the blood magic and well Desire. Marric afterwards began to do the same on his own hand; then grabbed mine just before it healed.

"So my dear… do you swear to raise this child, teach it honour and respect, love for its father and hatred for Blood Magic" He smiled at me so bastardly.

"You can't do this" I whimpered from the pain of blood contact.

"Oh but I can" He squeezed my hand tighter.

"If you don't swear, I take away your most beloved Templar" He gestured behind him to three Templars holding a beaten Cullen.

"Cullen!" I screamed and tried to move. "You son of a bitch, don't hurt him!" I begged.

"Then vow to this oath. And I will let him live" He smirked.

"I vow to your oath" I felt the blood mix and curdle in our hands. As a veil surrounded us and then evaporated.

"This is an unbreakable blood oath my dear… if you break the rules... you will die" He stood up and wiped his hand. Mine quickly healed upon being exposed to the air.

"You have your oath now let Cullen go" I looked to him standing up.

"Who said I was going to let him go?" The Templars punched Cullen and pulled him out of sights.

"Cullen!" I ran forward only to have myself grabbed my Marric.

"You gave me your word that you wouldn't kill him" I looked into Marric's eyes.

"I am not going to kill him… but we shall see how long he can last" He smirked.

"You bastard, I'll" He grabbed my throat.

"You'll do what my dear… be careful, I have decided to let you live… you don't want to test me now do you?" He threw me back down to the floor... landing on my knees I heard a small crack.

"You may be a blood mage… but you still are a mere mortal" He chuckled exiting the room.

"Come on then knife ears" A Templar picked me up and took me out of the room. A light tear escaped my eye at the thought of my dear Cullen being tortured by that lunatic… this was my entire fault. But Marric is not going to get away with this. I looked at my scar from the oath… this was Templar magic at its worst. I can't believe I had to make an oath with that monster. I may have the demon inside me but he has something worst. Yet this is the man in line for running these beloved lands… he would drive Ferelden into the ground. I was thrown back into my room before the door slammed behind me. This was going to be my life… being thrown around by the Templars like I was just a damaged sword… being used and used but never being appreciated. I rubbed my stomach…. At least I have you know my darling child… You will grow up in a harsh environment but you will be strong and loyal. You will be powerful my darling… more powerful than I could ever be.


End file.
